Embracing the Shelley-ness

I’m turning 45 next week.  Found this blog post that I never posted dated June 12, 2012.  I wonder if it will post today’s date or 5 years ago?

on the brink of 40, it is time to embrace all things Shelley. here are a few things that come to mind:

1) being okay with being quiet.  today canon realized it was quiet, he said, “wait, something’s not right here, it’s too quiet…” and I responded, “I know! isn’t it great!” not sure if this started with me being an only child for 7 years or if it’s the fact that since I’ve had kids I gave up my right to be myself and have been trying to reclaim it for 13 years. it’s one of two.

2) being a gypsy or joining the circus. even though Mom said she’d sell me to gypsies I sort of wish she would’ve. after seeing the My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding and such I realize that part of me is a gypsy. moving quite a bit, changing schools, changing friends… I think I miss that. but that was so long ago. I digress.

3) being Southern. very much so. I understand what it means when someone asks “who are your people?” and realize my answer is of utmost importance. I know my manners precede my reputation and the fact that I say “yes ma’am” and “no sir” will right many wrongs. the southern-ness part of me deserves a post all in itself. some of that is lost in the culture now-a-days. I’m at fault with that to a degree – but when I think about it I realize being gracious, being sincere (even when you say, “bless your heart”), frying up REALLY good chicken (need to learn this, like, soon), knowing that you ALWAYS sit down to smoke a cigarette (never have smoked a day in my whole life but I know enough to know a real southern lady ALWAYS sits down to this), understanding that china patterns and silverware choices say a lot about southern woman… these are distinctions that set me apart from the rest of the women in United States. just like I wouldn’t understand what the women in the OC are really about, no one could possibly understand all this unless they were born and bred here.

4) being forgetful. number four is something I can’t remember right now.

5) being a little persistent. This used to have to do with making money, now this has everything to do with my kids. i.e.: repeating myself over and over to my children in hopes they will become socially graceful. sitting down at lunch recently with my 2 children made me realize just how southern I really am. all of a sudden it mattered more to me what they were about to do than if I had gluten on my plate. use your manners. PLEASE. nothing has left me more worried than the lack of my children using good southern manners. NAPKIN – in your lap. SILVERWARE – work outside to inside. DON’T SPILL YOUR (sweet) TEA. CHEW WITH YOUR MOUTH CLOSED (by far my biggest pet peeve, nothing says poor upbringing than smacking your way through a meal, or smacking your gum, but I digress…)

6) being appreciative. Hand-written thank you notes. Lord help me if this is a hoop to jump through on my way to heaven. b/c not just myself but my two off-spring will suffer these consequences. when I got married the only conversation I had with my mother for 6 weeks afterwards was, “did you write your thank you notes?” and God forbid I said no. The wrath of the mother-of-the bride was alive in well in 1995. so, just to be clear, if you are reading this please know I probably owe you a hand-written thank you note. I will get around to this. just be patient.

7) being persistent. see? refer to number 5. persistence is a virtue right? also, not talking with your mouth full is a virtue all in itself. DO NOT TALK WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL. I mean, were you raised by wolves? or cavemen? do not do this. I could not do this growing up or I would not be here right now. don’t do it. ever.

8) being in love. I love romance. I love poetry. I love the man becoming the hero. luckily, I married one :) A hero, and a poet.

9) being good with wine.  Wine is good. Tequila is better.

10) achieving a goal. I hate it when I don’t hit one. I am very achievement oriented. goal-oriented? I think it is more of an achievement thing b/c it has to do with completing a task. which is whole ‘nother thing. as I’ve gotten older, I will distinctly not begin a task if I don’t think I can finish. this began when I became a mother. please understand that the accomplishment with my children has super-ceded anything I would’ve done for myself. so, achieving with them will ALWAYS be accomplished. it may or may not be successful but it will be a done deal. eventually I will bring this back around to myself, my goals and accomplishments but for right now it’s all about them. and that’s all I have to say about that. (bold font and italics added in 2017.)

11) being among the animals.  cats and dogs. lizards or gerbils. it’s all the same. except cats are WAY more expensive. for a number of reasons.

12) I like to read. short, reader’s digest sized stories.

13) I LOVE history. I really do. should’ve majored in history. digressing…..

14) I love flower gardens. when I close my eyes and see my Eden it is full of flowers. not so much people. but flowers.

15) Favorite quote: in the words of Scarlett O’Hara, “I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.” btw, she was schizophrenic in real-life. lawsy mercy.

16) I love a calendar. I love to write on it or these days, type and sync. maybe it’s an accomplishment thing (see number 10) but whatever the case, I have written in calendars for years and keep them as momentos.

2017 footnote:  this blog is like a calendar.  I do not remember writing this entry that wasn’t published in 2012.  but here it is.  so, yes, a blog is like a calendar but more of a momento.

About Shelley

Live well Laugh often Love much
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