Today he is officially 5 years old. I can’t decide whether to laugh or cry!
Yesterday I got out my boxes of keepsakes that I put together around the time each of my children were born. There were so many memories in each box. I might not know where my celphone charger is, but I know where their hospital baby bracelets are that they came home from the hospital wearing.
Among these treasures are two journals that I kept while I was pregnant. I’m going to recap my last journal entry from when I was pregnant with Canon. This is where I recorded all my thoughts and emotions on that roller coaster ride called pregnancy. But what’s amazing about my entries are that their personalities showed up early in pregnancy. So much of what I discovered about my children in utero have played out in “real life”. Amazing.
Here is my last entry from that journal, when my precious baby boy was only 3 months old. Now he’s rocking and rolling into kindergarten. And we have partied all weekend, unlike the weekend he was born, when I woke up in ICU. Well, that’s another entry entitled: “Things I’m Glad I Won’t Have to Do Again.” So, here are my thoughts post delivery and all I can say is that with every passing day my joy has increased tenfold. As I have said before, I’m a blessed woman!
You are now 3 months old. And quite honestly it has taken me 3 months to revisit my pregnancy. I mean, for the last 12 Mondays following his birth I cried, sometimes beginning on a Sunday night. It’s just been different. I was laboring and not progressing, had to wait it out for the doctor and proceeded to have complications. Like not being able to breathe. I have spent 3 months now trying to figure out what I did to deserve such an agonizing delivery!
But he is here now and I finally feel more like myself and can look at pictures from the week in the hospital and read up on my last entry in here. We’ve doubled his birthweight, had a cold, started some anitbiotics for a slight ear infection, and captured my heart in so many ways I didn’t know could exist. When he smiles, his entire face smiles. He shows me when he can do something new and waits for my affirmation and does it again and again. He wants to be a baby, none of this growing up too quickly like his big sis. He is a precious bundle of joy and I can’t believe I will become his measure of what it means to be a woman, a wife, a mom. I love him so much, even these tantrums he has learned when it ‘s time for bed and he’s hungry and sleepy are all precious.
Because when I wrote in here on August 3rd, 2004 it was a week before I went into labor my final time. A memorable time in my life which won’t be repeated until I become a grandmother. I am so excited because I have so much love for both my children, I am so looking forward to our life together. Apart from heaven, this is what it means to be complete.