A day late and a dollar short has been my way of life in 2006. Not on purpose, it has just sort of happened that way, so I wasn’t surprised at lunch today when I realized exactly where my brain was… or was not.
Yes, there I was today in the men’s bathroom. I am so glad I have not written anything in a month so I can be the comedic relief you need right about now. During the hustle and bustle of the 72 hours before Christmas Eve several physical, emotional and personal issues are at stake. When you have a small window of opportunity to shop without children and try to eat lunch with your husband plus wonder if the stuff you ordered online will ever make it here before Christmas, going to the bathroom becomes a luxury. Nothing like needing to go and being in the men’s bathroom, only realizing it when you are actually sitting there. As for my defense, I’m in a hurry, and why not? Everyone is running around like mad and I just run into the first restroom I see. Obviously, I completely miss the urinal, head for the stall and shut the door. My first indication that I am not where I’m supposed to be is the fact the toilet seat is up. But being the proud mommy of a little boy I think to myself, “someone’s little guy must have been in here with their mommy.” Pray tell, where is my brain?
I fix the seat and next thing I know someone comes in. They are next to me but remember, I’m in a stall. That seems perfectly normal. What does not seem normal is the fact the person has on big muddy boots and they are pointed in the opposite direction of where they should be. There is no water running, surely they are using the sink??? Again, where is my brain???
Oh, I found it. After I got over the feeling of being trapped in the men’s room. If I walk out there is a 100% chance some poor fellow is using the urinal. I stay there, thinking to myself, wait it out. Surely he will leave and NO ONE else will come in! Because when he does leave I have like a milli-second to get out of there before another walks in. Can this really be happening? Absolutely. My life is a complete sitcom I am just waiting to make some money on it.
Because I am here sharing this story I made it out of the men’s restroom. I even came back to the table and acted like my very short trip was completely normal. That’s because we were only two feet away from the next table. I was looking to see if he had on muddy boots.